Give up or not

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 The last few months I have been fighting a battle of , do I give up or keep fighting.

At the moment its about 60/40 in favour of giving up but I am still fighting, I am doing my exercises and limiting my pushing and that is a lot more pain but it is starting to help, just hope it gets a little easier after the next week...

I know what i should do to make my physical pains a lot better but mental health is a different matter....

My mental health is not in a good place at the moment, cannot stop thinking about ending my life, I now know how I will take my life.....

I am getting help but at the end of the day i know I am the only one that can help me.

I need a reason to keep going but don't really have a good one, I can't even go out for long pushes at the moment.

Will see what happens tomorrow.


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